How can we stop playing small and what if playing big was simply to make the most of every moment?

If you think of someone that really matters to you, who you care deeply about, what do you hope for them? 

No doubt many of the possible answers could be summarised as hoping for the best for them, that they accomplish what they want and that their lives are full of the things they really want.

Undoubtedly we’ve seen or been the recipient of similar sentiments. Sentiments like ‘may all your dreams come true’ or ‘may this year bring you everything you want and hope for’ perhaps in birthday or New Year’s wishes. 

What would those wishes look like for those people that really matter to you?

What would be happening for them to feel the joy and happiness you no doubt hope for them?

What would it look like in its fullest form? 

Now what if those things were happening for you? 

What would it look like? What would you be doing? 

What is it like envisioning what you really want compared to what you really want for that person you really care about? 

How do the hopes you have compare to your hopes for others? 

If you took your hopes and aspirations, what would be even better than what you envisioned? What may feel impossible, but if it were the case would truly feel like a dream come true for you? 

Or to put it another way, in your aspirations for you, are you playing small? 

Marianne Williamson wrote:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us… Your playing small does not serve the world.”

This blog has written about how we are often more capable than we give ourselves credit for, which means that we are always likely to be aiming for less than we are capable of. 

So what if you were to assume you are always playing smaller than I can? 

What would the impact be of asking yourself what it would look like to play bigger in what we do?

What would that look like each day?

So what keeps you playing small? What are the fears, stories, and beliefs that keep you playing small?

How ingrained are they and how conscious of them are you? 

An example can be found in this blog, writing about the small steps to take responsibility for our gifts. Yes, challenging ourselves and taking ownership for our gifts is difficult, stepping out of our comfort zone is difficult, and there are ways we can take the leap more easily; no doubt it is better to know that we’ve taken the leap than to never take it.

Yet, even in this there is a hint of playing small.

What would it be to take full ownership for your aspirations and abilities? 

If you have no guarantee of where you will end up, and if you really have little control of most things, one thing you can take control of is how much you take responsibility for your gifts. 

So what is keeping you from playing big with your gifts? 

What does the world miss out on each time we play small?

What do those that matter most miss out on if we play small? 

What do you miss out on if you play small? 

How does that compare to what you gain if you play small? 

In some ways the ability to aspire, to set goals and to reflect on what we really want is a privilege, so how are you making the most of that gift? 

And what if you fail? 

What would it be to play big in the face of failure? 

What are all the opportunities that are ignored in the focus on the outcome, the binary success or failure? 

But what is the balance? Playing big all the time sounds exhausting? Learning and practising anything takes energy, especially if it also means unlearning patterns that have probably kept us safe from the perceived risks of failure and possible insecurity and instability. Because let’s be honest, how big does society play? 

Still in this context it sounds like a, err, big thing to play big. And it begs the question what is big enough? 

In her interview on the Coach’s Journey podcast, Jennifer Garvey Berger, talks about rather than it being either or, it is sometimes both, so in fact there are times where two things can be true at the same time. 

In this case she asks what is it to know that we are enough in this moment and to know that we want to become more than we are in this moment? 

So what if playing small is not acknowledging that we are enough in this moment as much as not working on what we want to become? 

And what if playing big is simply making the most of each moment to be all we can be, and in doing so we cannot help but become what we want to be? 

So what would it be to play big in each and every moment? 

What if playing big is simply to be all of you, and in doing so you almost cannot help but go further than you can ever imagine you are capable of. Because each time we are all of us we are also becoming more of us.

What would it be to play big in life? 

In being all of you, what would you be doing? Where would you be doing it? 

What would be possible for the world if we all played big?