If we don’t know nor practice good enough, is the idea of good enough alone really good enough?
‘Good enough’ is a phrase that we hear a lot more than we used to ten or twenty years ago. However, how clear are we on what ‘good enough’ really means for us, how do we truly know what good enough is, and how much do we role model that?
Given the popularity of the idea there is something that resonates with us, however how do we make it truly benefit us in a world where so much tells us we need to be more, do more and have more to be good enough?
Consider the impact when you do and do not feel good enough. What if, amid the noise of the world that often says you’re not good enough, you could check that feeling against what truly feels good enough to you?
What does good enough really look like for you?
If you had to write down on one piece of paper what good enough was in all aspects of life what would you write?
Which areas feel easiest and hardest to practice what good enough looks like?
What are the feelings you have when you truly know that how you have shown up, what you have done, and what you want to do is really good enough?
What if you had to narrow that list down to only 2 post-it notes of 3 things? It could be one for life and one for work, it could be one for how you want to lead, it could be one for your relationships. What would be on the two post-its that if you lived by would feel good enough?
What if it was on even fewer post-its?
The tension, in my own experience and I have seen with friends, clients, and colleagues is that it can be easy to be drawn away from what we really know in our bones to be good enough. It can be easy to overcomplicate, overthink, to forget, to be distracted or to feel like we can do more than good enough. Thoughts like ‘their good enough is more than mine…’ or doubts about is that really enough.
It may be that our good enough changes (I re-wrote, paused, edited and re-wrote this paragraph multiple times). However, if we can anchor in what good enough explicitly sense means to us, we can more easily filter through the things that may draw us away from good enough.
This sense of what good enough is can be both as an embodied feeling (this is what I feel when I know I have done enough and where I feel it) and some tangible things we can hold ourselves accountable to (e.g. have I done this with the intention I wanted, did I show up in the way I wanted, did I give myself the time to really plan, did I give this project the time I know I want to, did I spend the time I wanted reading/exercising/seeing friends etc.). When we have a clear sense of good enough we can then better evaluate if it has changed or if it is another thought or feeling that we can attend to, such as doubt.
It is all well and good knowing what good enough is but how do we practice it?
Performance often talks about non-negotiables or a standard to hold fast to. In teams these can be shared values and behaviours, explicitly communicated and followed. Still in teams as much as individually, sharing is one thing, honouring our good enough is another.
Knowing what may get in the way or pull us away from good enough can help. What may be the signs we can look out for? How are we when things are really difficult? What is a good enough that accounts for us when it feels really difficult?
Creating the conditions to make good enough easier can be a start. What do you need to make good enough feel second nature? It could be writing those post-its and making them visible, it could be a daily practice of checking them, it could be sharing them with others. It also means calling ourselves and others out in a graceful way that keeps us to account. We have written before about the standard we walk past is the standard we become.
When talking about this with my coach, we talked about how not to make this a strait jacket or another way to be self-critical if we don’t meet good enough. With that in mind, how do you want to respond when it feels you truly have not lived up to your good enough?
What if good enough is an ongoing process?
If good enough is a process of reviewing, practicing and reflecting on whether it felt right and achieved what we wanted then we can continue to create a good enough that genuinely feels right, moves us towards what we want and helps us account for the constantly changing life and world we navigate.
For example, if we move into a busy period of life, good enough may look different to a quieter period. I remember when I used to run residentials in summer and having to learn that season means we are prioritising different things, which for a small charity meant that we would make fewer funding bids. Good enough in summer meant we still made funding bids just not as many as when we were out of a delivery cycle.
How do we role model good enough?
Whether we have a formal role as a leader or not, we will be setting an example. How we do something can often be how we do everything, so what is the impact of how we practice good enough?
What is the good enough you want to follow?
What is the good enough you want to role model for others?
What would the impact be if we all were clearer on what good enough truly is and practiced that?
