What if everything doesn’t have to be this way, then what is possible?

There is a reframing of ‘practice makes perfect’ to ‘practice makes permanent’. 

In reality nothing is permanent (there are no longer dinosaurs roaming the earth, civilizations have changed, seasons come and go etc etc), yet it can seem surprising that change is constant. Of course some changes take so much more than others, but so much change stems from the thought that ‘it doesn’t have to be this way’ (and quite often ‘nor the other alternatives we’ve already thought of’).

Yet, we can often act as if there is only one way and that everything is destined to be that way. 

What are the things that you do that perpetuate a life and world that makes it seem like it is the only possibility? 

In coaching one of the most valuable questions is ‘what else’. Followed up by ‘what else’ and at least another ‘what else’. The repetition digs below the most commonly treaded thoughts and ideas (the neuroscience would talk of the most commonly followed neural pathways). 

How often do you consider what else could be possible?

There was a time in my life where there appeared two options for me: 1) continue my current job, 2) leave to pursue coaching. It turned out there was a middle option: part-time with both. I am deeply grateful to my manager at the time for pointing out it did not have to be the binary directions I had assumed.

Who and what helps you see it does not have to be this way?

What makes this important? 

Systems thinking portrays a system as an inverted pyramid, The practices and resource flows underpinned by power dynamics and relationships. What underpins all of this is mental models — how we see things, what we believe, what seems the way things have to be, assumptions, and biases.

We are all systems in systems in systems (yes, there may be a better less mechanical word, but every living thing is a system that is part of a wider ecosystem). 

If change is inevitable, systems will ultimately change, but sometimes systems need to change faster for them to thrive, or may resist that change (even if it is inevitable). The response to change is shaped by the mental model and what is seemingly possible is shaped by the mental model. 

What are the systems you are part of?

What are you assuming about these systems? 

Bridging reality and possibility

Systems can be incredibly complex and large, and any model of system change involves simplification. Still mental models can change, sometimes overnight, sometimes over decades. Prior to the pandemic working from home seemed impossible for many who now work from home far more regularly. In many parts of the world over the last 200 years people excluded from voting have been given the vote.

Considering the systems you are part of, how would you like them to be? 

What would a system that enabled that look like? 

What can you control to change that system? 

Equally we live in a world that can feel incredibly disempowering at times. What can we as individuals meaningfully do about the big systems contributing to rising inequity and the climate crisis? 

Sometimes the only thing we can do is to consider that things could be different and to pose that question to others. If we never ask how will we ever shift a mental model?

How could you see yourself differently and what would that make possible?

What would it be to practice asking ‘what could be another way of seeing this?’ 

What becomes possible when we all become aware that everything could be different?