It is the end of day two of a five day retreat and the teacher starts the final meditation saying ‘as we continue to settle and arrive.’ The first thought that came to mind was to wonder how much longer we would spend settling. By this point we’re reaching halfway through the retreat!
And yet a part of me, in a new environment, in silence for 5 days for the first time, with new people, appreciated that we were still settling.
In such novel circumstances it makes sense that time and space is needed to settle.
How much space and time do we give us to settle every day?
What is the impact of how we show up for ourselves, for others and for what matters?
That is not to say that every 2 in 5 days needs to be spent in settling but it is more to consider how often we give ourselves the space to settle into the shifts of the day, the changes that spring up, and moving from one thing to another.
What is the impact of how much we do and do not allow us to settle on our experience and how we show up in the moment?
A habit it took a long time for me to break was working up to the minute before a meeting, made even easier when working virtually. Even having prepared for the meeting it was far less useful when arriving unsettled having tried to finish one last email.
Perhaps another way of thinking about setting is how we meet a moment based on how we approach it.
Obviously not all moments can be prepared for, but what if we can still settle into that moment.
If you tense all your muscles and then try and catch a ball how does it compare to being untensed?
A friend would often talk about difficult moments at life and work and ask themself ‘how much space have I actually given this?’ The answer is almost always less than we think and the giving of a little more space the opening for navigating that difficult thing.
How does the quality of your response vary based on the space and time you give yourself?
What helps and hinders you in allowing the space and time you need to best meet a moment?
The nagging thought as I write this is what about the times when things are high stakes and require a quick response? What if we always have more time than we think? What would it be to simply give us 5 more seconds (the space of one deep out breath)?
What if the difference is not necessarily the time but the quality of time we give something which is really the quality of mind or the level of presence we bring to it?
In that framing it becomes a case of what we can practice to cultivate a quality of mind that helps us to be settled in the moment, to meet challenges with our full engagement.
What are the expectations of us that mean we do not give ourselves the moment to settle? It could be our expectations - a good leader has an answer in the moment, I have to do it now, - these expectations can be true but how we meet them is still a choice for us. What allows you to meet the expectation rather than be led by it? It could be a practice of simply asking for a moment to consider, it could be taking a deep breath, it could be asking yourself how immediate this really is or what would help you meet it best. It could be experimenting with all these things outside of the moments it really matters.
The meditation teacher at the retreat began the welcome by saying a settled mind is a clear mind and a clear mind is one that can more skilfully navigate the world with wisdom and love.
It may even be that to settle ourselves in the moment is to acknowledge we are unsettled, to meet ourselves and so the moment with love and wisdom.
What would it be to meet each moment with more wisdom and love?
What would the impact be for us and others?
What is the smallest thing we can do to cultivate a settled mind in each moment?
