What if at the heart of leading is recognising we are all always just trying to figure it out?

I always remember being in Reception of Primary school, the youngest age group, and looking up to the Year 6s in awe of how much more grown up they were. A grown up I didn’t feel at Year 6. Then came Year 7 of Secondary school and I could now look to the Sixth Formers, now they were the true model of grown up, until I got to Sixth Form. Perhaps university then? Now the final year students, surely they had it all figured out. Come my final year, it was certainly not third time lucky, I hadn’t got it figured out in the way it seemed they had. Fast forward to work and you can probably guess the conclusion, still not figured it out, even when I got to leadership roles, until, jokingly and now more seriously I began to wonder, maybe those Year 6s and Sixth Formers and final years I had looked up to never did have it figured out, and instead maybe they, like me, were still figuring it out. 

Now you may think, what is ‘it’? No doubt in the example above there was some stuff figured out, but for me there was a genuine feeling they had it all figured out, and by that I meant life. And by life I mean what to do in the moment, in the short-term and the longer-term direction. 

So what if the reality is that we are always figuring it, life, out? 

What does seeing things as an ongoing process of figuring out mean for how we live and lead in life? 

What if leading is really just a process of figuring it out? 

What does it mean if we are always figuring it out?

The difficult reality with figuring it out is that only we can. Yes, others can support us, we can see what others do, explore options, but ultimately a direction has to come from us, no one can figure it out for us. 

Even if we consider the times someone tells us an answer, like a doctor, we’ve still had to figure out that something may be off and choose to do something about it. 

However, if figuring it out is an ongoing process, we can let go of finding the right answer. 

In an interview with Patrick Quinton-Smith, for the Coach’s Journey podcast, he shared the idea of directional correctness. Directional correctness is following what feels right and course correcting as we gather more information in the process of following a direction. In a sense, this is the process of figuring it out. 

Which means we have to start somewhere and the question is about where would you like to start? What interests you? What do you want? What is it important for you to have? 

What does that mean for leading?

Whether it be in work or life, (spoiler: we’re always leading), we’re likely leading less if we don’t think we’re figuring it out. 

Recognising we are figuring it out allows us to let go of the expectation there is a right way that a leader has to be or choose and a reminder that the process of leading is one of figuring things out, navigating ourselves through life and our context in accordance with what is important to us. 

This is all well and good but isn’t this all a bit overwhelming?

What are the things that feel figured out for now? 

Yes, there may be times where it feels like there is a lot to figure out, but there will almost always be some things that are less important to figure out or feel figured out enough for now.

For example, we may have set a clear strategy to follow, it doesn’t mean that doesn’t change it simply means it is figured out for now. Or we may have resolved an issue or adapted a plan to meet a change, again it is only figured out as far ahead as the next challenge? 

In a life context we could have figured out where we want to live for now, again it doesn’t mean that won't change for any manner of reasons, just that it is figured out for now. 

When it comes to figuring things out, what really matters? 

It is often said there are no right decisions, only decisions made in the right way. What does that mean for how you want to approach figuring things out?

What are the processes and priorities by which you want to figure things out? 

For example, figuring out a decision as a leader at work could come down to what the priorities of the organisation are, what your and the organisation’s values are and how you go about figuring it out. Do you take time to follow a process, consult other people or make a decision on the spot? And some of this may all depend on what it is you’re figuring out.

Then in figuring something out in the future you also have this example as a point of reference: how did what you prioritised and how you figured it out go and what you will do again or differently for future figuring it outs?

What can help me in my process of figuring it out?

As well as knowing what matters, what else do you have to help you figure things out? 

Who can support you?

What conditions do you need to figure things out? 

What experiences do you have? 

What is different in this case of figuring it out compared to last time?

Going back to the education example, in some ways the Year 6s and Sixth Formers and Final year students had figured it out, they knew how things worked, they’d been in the system for long enough to know the rules and be able to use the rules.

Thinking about rules, which is something we’ve written about before, this example also highlights when it is important to remember we are always in a process of figuring it out. If not we risk not figuring out or figuring through the intricacies of each situation. It is the balance between drawing on the wisdom of having done this before with the awareness that this is always different even if subtly. 

And sometimes what we really need is the grace and self-compassion to recognise we are always figuring it out, however broad it can be, that we have always been figuring it out, as have those final years and sixth formers and Years 6s who have come before us and will come after us. 

If you knew you are always figuring it out in some way, what would that mean for how you approached things?

If you considered leading as a never-ending process of figuring it out, what would be different? 

If you knew you are always figuring it out, what would you allow yourself to try?

What would the world be like if we recognised we are all, in our own way, figuring it out?