What is the impact of when and how we see difficulty?

What and when do we notice difficulty?

When you describe something as ‘difficult’ or ‘easy’ what do you actually mean? 

If you were to list things that felt easy for you, what might they be? 

Conversely what things would be on your difficult list?

What is the impact of this assessment on you and your efforts at the things on the list? 

And how does your approach differ for things that you think should be easy? 

In short, what is the impact of your evaluation of the difficulty of something on you and how you go about it? 

And what about the things that we think we should find easy because the world around us seems to say they are? 

Now if we were to consider all the things we want to achieve in life, how aware are we of their level of difficulty for us?

If you knew their genuine level of difficulty to you, what would be different? 

What could be the impact of how you perceive difficulty? 

If you see something as difficult it would be logical to assume you may approach it differently to something you see as easy. 

Difficulty suggests the outcome you are working towards or what you are trying to do requires more of our resources than things that are easier. 

So how often do you actually adjust our approach based on difficulty? Or where may you do this in some aspects of life but not in others?

For example it is likely training for a marathon would be very different to that of a 5km run. 

What about when cooking a new recipe? By its novelty it is likely to have a higher degree of difficulty than a well-known, frequently made recipe, so how would our approach differ? 

What about forming new friendships or finding a partner or embarking on a creative project for the first time? 

How clear are you on the difficulty of something? 

To adjust your approach often requires knowing how difficult something is. How clear are you on the level of difficulty for you before and as you work towards what you want? 

And how clear are you on the actual level of difficulty to you, compared to how difficult you may think it should be based on what the world around says? 

What is the impact of the level of clarity you have on that difficulty?

Think back to the running example. If you have never run before, how would you perceive running a 5km? How would this compare to a marathon? What is your starting point? What are the beliefs and experiences you have that shape that starting point? 

Take the 5km, you could never have run before nor do much exercise and in knowing that commit to a programme like couch to 5km. Or because you exercise in other ways, such as going to the gym, you think 5km should be easier than if you hadn’t done any exercise before and so you just start running.

Or the new recipe example, you are cooking a new recipe but one that is of equal complexity to other dishes you frequently make. Given you cook regularly and with your regularly cooked dishes you are used to preparing ingredients and cooking them simultaneously, you expect you can do the same for the new recipe. Compare this approach to still knowing how to cook but also knowing that because this is a new recipe you take time to read the whole recipe first, then prepare the ingredients, then follow each step in the recipe. 

What might the impact be if the cooking process doesn’t feel quite as straightforward as expected? Or the impact in just running the 5km with little plan (and only the sense it should be easy as you already exercise) is not as simple as expected? 

Frustration, thoughts like ‘you’re not as good a cook/runner as you think you are’ and in extreme cases maybe you give up or develop a new, limiting belief that stops you trying new things again.

The difficulty with difficulty - is this all really just about our expectations again? 

This blog has written about expectations and often referenced the John Whitmore quote: ‘What I’m unaware of controls me, what I am aware of I can control.’

Alongside how aware we are of the difficulty is how we then relate to that. In some cases we may not even try something because it seems too difficult, or in believing it should be easy and/or not even considering the difficulty to dive headfirst into something and find it too difficult to complete.

What about when there is something really important to us, something that you want and you are aware is incredibly difficult? 

In knowing you really want it and it is going to be difficult for you, how might you approach it?

What may your expectations be? 

When dealing with difficulty before, what has worked for you? 

What if you are doing many more difficult things than you realise on a daily basis?  

Life is constantly changing, and really it may be that all you and any of us are ever doing is answering to life’s challenges. Which in some way suggests in being here, in still going you are dealing with difficulty, it may be that you would like to deal with it better, but let’s first appreciate that you are dealing with it, and that is a start. 

If you knew you are dealing with far more difficult things than you thought you were, what might you do that you’ve often seen as too difficult? 

What if acknowledging difficulty is to allow us to be human?

When you accept something that is difficult for you, what do you notice? 

Acceptance perhaps suggests moving through the likely frustration that initially comes with noticing something is difficult. 

My experience is that when I really see something is difficult for me, that means accepting it, sometimes after being grumpy (to put it politely) that it isn’t as easy as I’d hoped, and then I am often far more generous to myself. I make more space and time to approach the difficult thing and I reset my expectations.

So, how often do you consider how difficult things are that you want and are working towards? 

What may you need to accept what is difficult for you?

If you were to accept what was difficult for you, what would then feel possible?

If we were all more aware that difficulty is relative, and that we are all dealing with it, what would things be like?